Emirates Airlines Service Training

They said that this was the best part of training;
I thought otherwise.

Firstly, I have no clue what on earth Vermouth is ..or Cognac.. or Beefeater..

Secondly, I'm no good with talking calmly to people whose heads I'd gladly smack with a tray without hesitation.

Glad to say it’s over.

We had to learn all about serving passengers, dealing with their requests and complaints, and explaining to them why they can’t smoke in the lavatory. Basically, we learn to pretend “slave and master” while exuding image of the latter.

In one of our many mock-up scenarios, I get to pretend to be a mother to a hideously frowning doll, which was supposed to be my precious baby. I was to observe the class one week ahead of us, how to deal with special passengers on board, and asses them on how they would treat me and my child during the flight.

“awww..cute baby.. would you need a bassinet? Would you like some baby food? Does your baby need milk?”

They could have won Oscars for their performance.

Yes -baby was happy, mother was happy- they pass.

For my final mock-up test, I was to deal with a mourning passenger whose husband just died and looking for some time away from the chaotic world that she has to deal with now... alone. Poor me running around the galley, figuring out where the hell was Al Maha resort and why I couldn’t go in the business class cabin to get magazines to show her the picture.

Good thing I passed everything though. Finally I get to graduate from training and leave the college behind. Surely I’ll miss the cafeteria. *sigh*